How We Know What Love Is – 1 John 3:16-24

In the comic strip “Peanuts”, Lucy is hopelessly in love with Schroeder. In one comic, Lucy told him, “If you don’t tell me you love me, I’ll hold my breath until I pass out!”

Schroeder looked up from his piano. “Breath-holding in children is an interesting phenomenon. It could indicate a metabolic disorder. A 40 mg dose of Vitamin B6 twice a day might help. That’s probably it. You just need Vitamin B6. You might also consider eating more bananas, avocados, & beef liver.” Schroeder then went back to his piano.

Lucy sighed. “I ask for love. All I get is beef liver!” Lucy really needed him to say the words. But Schroeder wouldn’t. In the end, Schroeder didn’t really know what love is.

Author Lisa Rogak wrote a book titled Death Warmed Over. It’s about funeral foods, rituals, & customs from around the world. In it she tells about a man who’s dying at home in bed. He smelled the aroma of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies coming from the kitchen, down stairs. He wanted one more cookie before he died. So, he climbed out of bed. He rolled down the stairs. And he crawled across the kitchen floor to the table. Trembling, He reached out to take that last chocolate chip cookie. Smack! A spatula stung his hand. “Put that back,” His wife said, “They’re for the funeral!” I don’t think that man’s wife knew what love was either. How do we know what love is? Let’s turn to our passage, 1 John 3:16-24.

^16aThis is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. Every time he uses the word in this passage, John is talking about agape love. Costly love. Sacrificial. He’s talking about God’s love. It’s the greatest love the world has ever seen. We see it clearly 2000 years ago. The Lord Jesus Christ came down from heaven. He came to die on the cross. There, He died to pay for all the sins of the whole world. Jesus could’ve lived a wonderful life as a carpenter from Nazareth. He didn’t have to start His ministry. He didn’t have to die on the cross. He chose to. He did it because He loves us. He gave His life for us so we could live our life for Him. In other words, Jesus’ love isn’t just a love to be admired. It’s a love to be copied. It’s a love to practice in our lives. V. 16 continues. ^16bAnd we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. What does it mean to lay down our lives for others? What are the blessings that come from loving each other the way Jesus loves us? After all, according to John love is the evidence of our salvation. That’s what he says in 1 John 2:9-10 & 3:14. ⁹Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. ¹⁰Whoever loves his brother lives in the light. And there is nothing in him to make him stumble. ¹⁴We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death.

But you might be thinking, “How can I lay down my life for others & still take care of my family?” That’s valid. So in v. 17, John gives an example of what he means. ¹⁷If anyone has material possessions & sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? How can we go on & on about how good God has been to us & not want to share that same goodness in tangible ways with the people God puts in our lives? God has given us everything we need for life & godliness. And He’s given us even more. He’s also blessed with the ability to be a blessing to those who are less fortunate than we are.

In a movie, “The Constant Gardener,” Tessa Quayle gave her life to serve the African people. One day, she & her husband, Justin, rode down a street. They saw a sick child struggling to walk along the road. Tessa said “Pull over! I want to help that boy!”

Justin said, “Honey, you can’t save everyone! You can’t help every single sick boy you see walking along the side of the road!”

Tessa replied, “You’re right. But this is one we can help!”

That’s what John means in v. 17. We can’t help everyone who’s struggling. But God will put someone in our life we can help. The Holy Spirit is inviting us to reach out in friendship. It might be a parent whose spouse just left them & they have to raise kids all alone. Maybe the Spirit wants us to put a bag of groceries on the front porch anonymously. Maybe He wants us to invite them & their kids over for a meal & a movie. We can’t help all the single parents. But this one we can help. Maybe it’s someone who’s sick or had surgery. Maybe the Spirit wants us to bring over a hot casserole. We can’t help them all. But this one we can.

In Luke 10, the Good Samaritan wasn’t called to minister to every person ever left for dead by robbers. He was called to minister to the only man he found lying in his path. That’s what God is calling us to do. ¹⁷If anyone has material possessions & sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Notice that John gave 2 conditions. 1^st, do we have the material possessions to help with their need? Americans have a lot. And 2^nd, can we see their need? To see others’ needs, we may have to have our eyes open. And for someone we don’t know, we may also have to verify their need in some way.

John continues. ¹⁸Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions & in truth. It’s easy to say “I feel so sorry for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. I feel so bad for the girl down the street who was abandoned by her boyfriend. My heart goes out to those Mexican children who live in such poverty.”

It’s good that our hearts respond to the needs of people around us. But God is looking for more than our sentiments. God wants us to love with our actions. That’s what James 2:15-17 says. ¹⁵Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes & daily food. ¹⁶If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm & well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? ¹⁷In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

People in 3^rd world countries lack things we take for granted. They may need soap, shampoo, school supplies, shoes, or wheelchairs. Some even lack food. Compassion International & World Vision have waiting lists—kids who desperately need $1 / day for food. (How well could we live on $1/day for food?) No one of us can help them all. But can each of us say we’re helping one? These are needs God placed on TV so we see them. John says it simply. ¹⁸Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions & in truth.

Beginning in v. 19, John gives 3 blessings from loving one another the way Christ loves us—loving one another with actions & in truth. 1^st, we have assurance. ¹⁹This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, & how we set our hearts at rest in his presence ²⁰whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts. He knows everything.

We sometimes wonder. “Am I really walking with the Lord? Am I living the way He wants me to? Am I doing what He wants me to?” When we love one another with our actions, our hearts will rest in His presence. We’ll be able to say “I know I’m right with God. I’m doing exactly what God wants me to!” And even if we feel like we fail, God knows our hearts. He’s greater. He knows we wanted to do right. That’s assurance. And that’s our 1^st blessing.

There’s a 2^nd blessing from loving each other the way Christ loves us. It’s confidence. ²¹ Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God ²² & receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands & do what pleases him. ²³And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, & to love one another as he commanded us. We already know His commands. When we’re living the way God wants us to, we can prayerfully approach God with confidence. We’ll be confident of His welcome.

The Israelites didn’t always have that confidence. In Exodus 20:19 on Mt Sinai, they heard the thunder, & saw the lightning & smoke. They said to Moses, “Will you give us God’s word? If we hear God’s voice, we’ll die.” They didn’t have confidence when they approached God. They knew they weren’t living the way God wanted them to. After complaining about Moses & grumbling against the Lord, they knew if they got near God, they’d get zapped.

In Christ, we have an advantage. We’re covered by Jesus’ blood. So if we’re sacrificially loving our brothers & sisters in the Lord, we can go to God with confidence. That doesn’t mean we can strut over to the Lord. We still have to respect Him. That’s what John tells us a little later in 1 John 5:14. ¹⁴This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

So… When we love one another the way Jesus loves us, we have assurance. We also have confidence. And 3^rd, we have the presence of the Holy Spirit. ²⁴Those who obey his commands live in him, & he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us. When we obey the Lord, the Holy Spirit testifies with our own Spirit that we are God’s children. And not only that, the Holy Spirit gives us the power to love people we would never be able to love on our own.

Maybe it’s someone in our Sunday school class or someone in school. God wants us to be nice to them & pray for them. We’re thinking, “How can I possibly love this person? They’re rude, annoying, & obnoxious! Lord, please send someone else to do it!”

In Romans 5:5, Paul says ⁵ God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. What we can’t do, God’s Spirit will do in a powerful way. When He does, we’ll know God Himself is living & working within us.

Loving one another as Christ loves us gives us the assurance of our own salvation, the confidence to approach God in prayer, & the presence & power of the Holy Spirit. Best of all, what we can’t do ourselves, God does in us. In vv. 23-24, John reminded us what to do & how to do it. ²³And this is his command. Believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, & to love one another as he commanded us. ²⁴Those who obey his commands live in him, & he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.

How do we know what love is? It’s what Jesus gave us when He went to the cross. And that’s His command to us. Love one another. Like He did. How can we possibly do that? Believe in Him. Accept Him as Lord & Savior. Live in Him. If we believe in Him, we’ll obey Him. Best of all, we’ll find we have the power to do so. Why? Because His Spirit lives in us. As we live in Him, His Spirit will live in us. That’s how we’ll know what love is. And that love is what we remember in the Lord’s Supper. Let’s prepare our hearts.